Who said Nursing Homes were boring? Two elderly residents, a man and a woman, were alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening.



The old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting, for $5 I'll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair."



The old lady looked surprised but didn't say a word. The old man continued, "For $10 I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for $20 I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life."



The old lady still says nothing but after a couple of minutes, starts digging down in her purse.  She pulls out a wrinkled $20 bill and holds it up.



"So you want the nice romantic evening in my room," says the old man.



"Get serious," she replies. "Four times in the rocking chair."

I liked that my friend.
ps.....do not even mention the word cricket.